Your Estate Plan Should Sound Like You - Not Just Your Lawyer
- Justin Strane
- Apr 30
- 4 min read
Updated: May 2
Most people hear "estate planning" and picture a stack of legal documents. Wills, trusts, powers of attorney - the usual. And yes, those are the backbone. But if your plan is nothing but legal paperwork, it's doing the bare minimum.
Your estate plan should reflect who you actually are. Not just your assets and your beneficiaries, but your values, your reasoning, your relationships. The legal documents handle the mechanics. The pieces below handle everything else.
Here are six ways to build a legacy protection plan that goes beyond the paperwork.
Write an Ethical Will
Your legal will says who gets what. An ethical will says why.
It's not a legal document. It has no binding force. It's a personal letter - or video, or recording - where you share your values, your perspective, your life lessons. Whatever format works for you.
Some people share these with family while they're alive. Others tuck them in with the estate documents to be read after they're gone. Either way, the purpose is the same: give your family context. Help them understand the thinking behind your decisions instead of guessing at it.
You don't need to write a memoir. A page or two in your own words does the job. It turns "Mom left the house to Sarah" into something your family can actually make sense of.
Build in Charitable Giving
Yes, charitable giving can have tax benefits. But that's not the main reason to include it.
Putting a charitable component in your estate plan tells your family what you cared about beyond them. It shows what you stood for. And it doesn't require a massive donation - you don't need your name on a building. Even a modest bequest to an organization that mattered to you adds something real to your plan.
The mechanics are straightforward: bequests in a will or trust, charitable trusts, donor-advised funds, direct gifts. These can be structured now, at death, or across generations. Your attorney and financial advisor can coordinate the details.
For Chicago-area families building out a legacy protection plan, this is one of the easiest ways to make it feel like yours.
Address the Sentimental Stuff
This is where estate plans create the most unnecessary conflict. Not the house. Not the investment accounts. The jewelry. The photo albums. Grandma's ring. The painting that hung in the hallway for 30 years.
These things carry emotional weight that has nothing to do with their dollar value. And when you don't address them, people argue.
A personal property memorandum - basically a list that's referenced in your estate documents - lets you say who gets what. You can update it over time without touching your core documents. Pair it with a conversation, and you've eliminated most of the guesswork.
Include a Letter of Intent
An ethical will is about values. A letter of intent is about operations.
It's a practical, nonbinding document aimed at the people who'll be running things - your executor, trustee, guardian, or caregiver. It covers the preferences and routines that a legal document can't capture: how you want things handled day to day, what your beneficiary's schedule looks like, which doctors to call, what to prioritize.
This matters most when you're planning for someone with specific needs. But even in straightforward situations, a letter of intent gives your fiduciaries (the people managing things on your behalf) something to work from instead of winging it.
Think of it as the user manual for your estate plan that the legal documents can't be.
Talk to Your Family
This one's free, and it might be the most important thing on the list.
Even a well-built estate plan can blow up if the people it affects don't understand what's in it or why. Family conversations fix that. They don't need to be formal. They don't need to happen all at once. Start with what matters to you, what you're trying to accomplish, and what you want to avoid.
Focus on intentions, not numbers. Include your spouse, adult kids, and anyone you've named in a decision-making role. You're not presenting a finished plan - you're giving people a heads-up so they're not blindsided later.
When people understand the reasoning behind your decisions, there's less room for resentment, confusion, or "that's not what they would have wanted." It builds trust. It protects relationships. And it costs you nothing but a conversation.
Consider an Incentive Trust
Incentive trusts have a reputation as "controlling from the grave" tools. That's a misread.
An incentive trust ties distributions to milestones - finishing a degree, holding down a job, community involvement, demonstrating financial responsibility. A trustee administers the terms, and you can build in flexibility for changing circumstances.
The goal isn't to micromanage your heirs. It's to set up some guardrails, especially for younger beneficiaries who might benefit from structure. Done well, an incentive trust reflects what you value without dictating how someone has to live their life.
Bonus: Start a Legacy Project
Not everything has to live inside a legal document.
Some of the most meaningful parts of a legacy happen outside the estate plan entirely. Recorded interviews with family members. Digital photo archives. Family recipe collections. Illustrated family trees. Written reflections about traditions, milestones, or just the everyday stuff that matters more than anyone realizes until it's gone.
Services like Remento, Storyworth, Meminto, Memorygram, and StoryCorps make these projects easier than they used to be.
A legacy project might be the last thing you do after the legal work is done. For your family, it might be the thing that matters most.
